i dont know how to describe my feelings now .
its like ...
i very sadd lahhs .
its like they dont even understand me .
they keep saying what i do is all for guides, guides and GUIDES .
they also agreed to it der lorrs .
now its like i get into guides .
everything also not happy !
what exactly do they want ?
i cant think .
im emotionally affected .
everything also dun support me nvm ler lor .
stil say i dis say i dat .
hav u ever thought how hard i tried to get the best results ?
hav u ever thought how hard i tried to save money ?
that time u asked me whether i wanted a thumbdrive .
i NEEDED one for my studies .
and i WANTED one .
but i dint want to waste money .
i shook my head and said no .
did u know it took alot of courage for me to say that ?
i REALLY wanted it .
ALOT .
i mean it .
today u asked me if i needed any money .
u passed me $4 and i asked you to keep it for urself .
did u know i left $1 plus plus ?
i had to control my money ?
whenn im already like famished ?
i had to buy books and stationary with my pocket money ?
i had to donate this that this that ?
all i wanted is to help u to SAVE .
and u dun understand me .
u say i so skinny and whatever comments .
enough already lor !
im sick .
ok .
sick .
i tried to do everything you said .
come home for lunch so as to not waste money eating outside .
i TRIED .
bud i had alot of commitments .
sport heats . projects and etc .
and by the time i reach home its like 5 +
and i haven had my lunch ?
i just had to bear my hunger and do my homework .
and act as if nth had happened ?
everythings wrong .
my studies .
my cca .
my ....
everything ...
i cant turn to anyone .
except for my friend, sy, who is always there for me .
like i was there for her when she needed me .
she called me when she had troubles .
and i called her when i had troubles .
im currently under ALOT of stress now .
everyday down there ask this ask that .
if u trusted me, u wudent be doing that .
i haven learnt my guides test yet .
tmr's testing sgga .
and im bound to fail .
i cant even concentrate !
my brain is like filled with all these thoughts .
GOSH ~
peaceout .
why . why . why .
my tears are dripping .....
lovedd.<3
;10:15 PM.x
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[<3]December 2005
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